Captain’s Blog - Teej
Truth seeker. Truth speaker. Old description from years ago kept for posterity: Philosophy, current events, hallucinations, crazy talk, politics, run-on sentences…oh and TV. There may also be some bitching about movies.
Tuesday, November 19, 2019
Captain’s Blog 2019, November 19th, Tuesday, 10:37 PM
Do no harm
Take no shit
Be careful
Be fearless
This is my current mantra.
This is the place where I talk to myself in an open forum.
Kinda like that person you saw the other day who was just talking to nobody right in the middle of the goddamn street.
No lies.
No nonsense.
Just me.
Next up I’d like to go back and critique these super old posts on this blog from 15 years ago that I’ve long left abandoned.
I’m back.
This space is for me
but all are welcome to share in it.
Monday, May 22, 2006
Rant #8: That Weird Machine All of Your Living Room Furniture is Pointed at. Part 1.
Conchata Ferrell - Berta
Marin Hinkle - Judith
Angus T. Jones - Jake Harper
Melanie Lynskey - Rose
Charlie Sheen - Charlie Harper
Holland Taylor - Evelyn Harper
Mark Burg - Executive Producer
Oren Koules - Executive Producer
Chuck Lorre - Executive Producer
Lee Aronsohn - Executive Producer
Eric Lapidus - Executive Producer
Eric Tannenbaum - Executive Producer
Kim Tannenbaum - Executive Producer
Chuck Lorre - Creator
Lee Aronsohn – Creator
Rant #7: I Hate Poetry!
I forgot to look at my watch today.
What time is it?
I forgot to look at my calendar today.
What day is it?
I forgot to call my dad today.
Do they have cell reception in heaven?
Who am I?
I forgot to check my pockets today.
Is there anything in there?
I forgot to take out the garbage today.
Is it still trash?
Is it still today?
I forgot to go to sleep last night.
Is it tomorrow yet?
I forgot what I was saying.
Is there anyone listening?
Does it still exist?
I forgot how to hate.
No I didn’t.
Go fuck yourself.
Saturday, April 16, 2005
Rant #6: Angry White Boy Polka.
Sunday, March 20, 2005
Rant #5: New Drug Cures Prudishness.
Are you easily offended? Do you constantly find yourself bitching and whining about how offended you are by the things you see around you? Well now there’s help! It’s called Gofukuesef. Gofukuesef is a new drug from the makers of Quicherbichasil (a popular anti-naggatory drug) and it is showing some promising results.
Rant #4: Five Second Interview With the Blog Author.
Blog reader:
Rant #3: Hey Buddy, Can I Bum a Smoke? I’ll Pay You Back When I Get My Tax Refund.
Does your state need some quick cash? Well, everybody knows that the most reliable way to squeeze more money out of the populace is to raise sales taxes on the addicted. Because really, what the hell are they going to do about it?
Sunday, February 20, 2005
Rant #2: Geek vs. Nerd, Dork, Spaz, etc.
It's time to set the record straight on the meanings of certain words, titles, insults, whatever you want to call them. Before we begin, I just want to make it clear that I don't give a shit what Merriam-Webster says these words mean. I know I'm right.
People like to throw around the word "geek" as though it has the same connotation as words like “dork”, “nerd” and “dipshit”. Well I’m here to tell you that they are wrong. A geek is a very special sort of individual. “Special” being the keyword because a geek is a specialist. If you know more about a certain field of study, special interest or area of trivia than the rest of your friends and colleges then you are a geek. Let me explain further. If you know everything there is to know about Wilford Brimley then you are a Wilford Brimley geek…and probably a stalker but I’m not here to judge. Some of you out there just LOVE that show Trading Spaces. Well, if you just happen to know how many times in the history of the show that a designer has gone over budget, then you are a Trading Spaces geek. You folks are just going to have to live with this shit. I’m very very sorry.
Now, nerds, dorks, and dipshits are usually very easy to spot. They have a certain look about them. Nerds and dorks dress the part and dipshits will always act the part regardless of dress. A geek on the other hand can be anyone around you. There are no specific physical or behavioral signs of a geek. You actually have to get to know a person before you find out about their geekness…geekosity…oh you know what I mean.
I’m just telling you these things for your own good. The next time you mistakenly refer to a geek as a nerd or a dork, or God forbid a dipshit, you may just get bitch slapped, or worse. Most people would agree that Robert Deniro probably knows everything there is to know about acting. I dare you to call him a fucking nerd. Of course you would likely get your ass kicked for calling him a geek as well and that’s another reason why I’m trying to get the word out on the differences, so these unfortunate misunderstandings will cease. Ok, I know what you’re thinking. What if a person is a combination of these things? Like, “Wow, that’s one nerdy geek” or “this geek’s a total dipshit”. Well, I don’t have all the answers. I just suggest that you tread lightly and give the non-nerd, non-dipshit geeks the respect that they deserve.
So if you’re a specialist, go forth and be proud of your inner geek. And if someone dares to call you a nerd, first make sure you’re not sporting a pocket protector and then kick that sumbitch in the nuts.
Disclaimer: I do not officially support kicking people in the nuts as it is very painful and could get you arrested and/or brutally murdered.
Rant #1: "The Village", Orange Fingertips and the Answer to Everything.
It all happened just before the scene in which Adrian Brody stabs Joaquin Phoenix. Now here's the bloody rub. I was suddenly sucked back into the movie when I noticed the knife in Brody's hand and I totally forgot what I was thinking about. Oh, I was soooo pissed. I had the answers to all of life's questions on the tip of my cerebral cortex and lost it all because of my stupid short attention span. Man I hate it when that happens!
I backed up the movie several minutes to try to get back in my "zone" but the feeling was gone, seemingly lost forever. How sad, right? I started this blog with the hope that typing it out would somehow get me back into that trancelike state again, a sort of retracing of steps if you will. Unfortunately, all I can seem to remember is how tasty those damn Cheetos were that I was eating at the time. I know what you're thinking...tried that...didn't help.
So now I just have to live with the fact that I almost had it. I caught a fleeting glimpse out of the corner of my eye. I turned to look but it was gone. I cannot put my finger on it now and I fear I never will again.
Man these Cheetos are good!